may two four

The vacation stretches out just a little longer because of May two four holiday, traditionally a celebration of Queen Victoria’s birthday, but in modern times just an excuse to take two-fours of beers into the woods and drink them. So Toronto is extra-quiet and I am skipping out on the mosquitoes and dirt and cold this year in order to get ready to get back on the path towards gainful employment.

Now I don’t want to jinx my job search by displaying it on the internet for everyone to see but I do have a couple of final interviews this week… I’ll leave it at that. Still hustling…. I’ll let you know when I know.

There was lots of time on the bus to ponder the perspective gained through a little travelling. I left Toronto feeling anxious about my future. Coming back I feel a lot more confident. Witnessing Julie create her destiny in New York City was inspiring. If Julie can do it, then so can I. The only thing that prevents me from meeting my destiny is my own anxiety and fear. These are obviously useless mental roadblocks which I am happy to ignore.

Everyone in New York wanted to know if I was living in New York, and if I wasn’t, when I would be moving there. Honestly, the possibilities there are far beyond anywhere else in North America as far as fashion goes. Hopeful young things like me go to New York all the time, looking for their big break. All sorts of opportunities exist there for young talent ready to hustle against the odds. It takes a very strong personality and a great deal of persistence, and basically a great deal of money makes it a lot easier. The point is that there is a chance that you could be big-time in New York like nowhere else on the continent. But how fast does a poor kid from Canada like me have to run just to stay in the game? Do I have the necessary drive?

Do I really want to be a big-shot? When I close my eyes and try to imagine my destiny, it’s an amorphous haze. There’s no certain desire to be a creative director for a big company or even definite goal to own my own company. There’s no specific material possessions that I want. Everyone wants me to follow my dreams but my dreams are awfully vague at this point.

What I do know: I love fashion. I am fascinated by processes – how things are made, how things are run, and how things work. Acquiring and using skills is my greatest joy. I’ve never regretted learning something new. I am ready to get working and gain experience. Maybe in the light of the real working world a plan will become clear.

So the time has come to take my little portfolio out there. I want to understand my industry, and eventually discover where I fit in. I am open to trying out new opportunities as they come. I think I’m going to be all right.

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8 thoughts on “may two four”

  1. I wouldn’t worry so much about being “ambitious”, from what I’ve read here it sounds like you really love fashion and, whilst others are may seem more pushy and driven, it’s that passion that I think is the key to genuine success. In fact, your post it sort of reminds of an interview I read recently with Jean-Paul Gaultier. He basically said that, despite being a legend, he’d never really had any ambitions for himself, he just loved fashion!

  2. Pingback: Fashion is a Verb
  3. Danielle-it was great to meet you at the Julie and Phil’s party.

    I had a friend from Melbourne the grew up from a working class, Greek family with chickens in the backyard and he has ended up being the head designer for Armani’s awards gowns and special collections.

    He couldn’t get a job in Melbourne when he graduated from design school and had a brother in New York, so he packed his bags and headed over here. After seven months and a credit card at its limit, no job (after two to three interviews a day) and rock bottom, he was ready to come home. His brother had enough frequent flyer points to get him a ticket to Milan and said, “Well go on the way home and see what happens”.

    When he arrived he said it was impossible, he couldn’t speak any Italian and no one would help him, he said he was in a café and about to cry and a waiter asked what was the matter and offered to help.

    From that one contact he got an appointment to see Armani and then on opening his folio, he was offered a job as a designer. When he came to negotiate his salary he didn’t realise that in Italy you negotiate the net amount not the gross amount – his first pay was 40% more than he was expecting and from the same waiter contact he ended up with the most glamorous apartment. He has gone onto have a really successful career and now heads up one of the big fashion houses in Paris.

    I asked him what were the three most important things in his success. He said “ an absolute belief in myself…that my designs were good, hard work and perseverance to keep on trying when you’ve been knocked back and really want to give up.

    My story is similar leaving Australia as a poodle and arriving in New York with aspirations of being a Great Dane!

  4. Thanks everyone for the nice comments and best wishes!

    It was nice to meet you too Kate! That’s a great story. I really need stories like that right now! I’d love to hear your story too, that canine analogy has me curious…

  5. New York may be loud, harsh, and expensive, but it’s also full of great people who will make sure that you succeed! It’s not about materialism, just doing what you love and making a difference.

  6. Thanks Phil, your support means so much to me! I can’t promise I’ll move to NY but I’m definitely coming back to visit again and again. What an action-packed week it was!

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