just a thought – poser

I went to the book launch for friend and fellow fashion school graduate, Caitlin Cronenberg.  Poser is a collection of nude photographs, full front view, from the knees up.  A few years ago, after we graduated from fashion school, Caitlin told me about the project she was working on and asked me to pose.  I didn’t think very hard about it – I said yes.  I guess I figured that if I was ever going to do it, I might as well do it while I’m young. I also used the opportunity to get Caitlin to photograph a school project which seemed to call for a nude body.

The night of the launch, I hadn’t revisited the photo and still wasn’t sure if I was ready to. After a few years since I had done it, it had fallen out of mind, and then suddenly stories about Caitlin’s book were in the blogs and all the newspapers, and it was a little bit nervous-making.  I dawdled on the RSVP. When I did show up, in a weirdly pensive mood, and bought my book and opened it up, I felt a sense of revelation. The picture of me and my body was not as strange to look at as I thought.

Caitlin says that the project makes more sense as a collection and it is true. She named the book “Poser“, but in fact, she didn’t pose us at all.  She clicked the shutter before the pose, which results in these candid, unintentional, revealing moments.  In me, I see a sense of trepidation, maybe a little bit of pride, as I try and “fix” my hair. I was not alone, there were many in the crowd who were captured by Caitlin, fellow fashion school students, people of all walks of life, many with higher profiles than me.

At the party I briefly reconnected with a few fellow fashion school graduates. It was neat to find them still in the heat of pursuing what they want. Fashion school was tough, but living a life as a creative individual is incredibly competitive, demanding awesome amounts of determination and sacrifice.  Not only are some of my fellow graduates still living the dream, we’re also supportive of each other’s projects and ambitions. Which made me leave the party with a very real sense of gratitude.

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